It is always good when someone walks into the office having found something we all want to watch. We remember Breaking Bad, Mad Men and of course West Wing but sometimes our wonderful, geeky team watch work type stuff outside the office. Well recently one of our team came in and made us all watch Brene Browns’ TED talk. Yes I know she did it in 2010 and has written books and everything but for some of us it was new and challenging.
She talks about the importance of vulnerability in all relationships, home, friends and work and the risk that it is to constantly put ourselves into that place. You see even admitting that we are so far behind the times is a risk – we are being vulnerable but some will just see that as weakness, as a failing.
But striving to appear perfect all the time is hard work and doomed to failure. None of us are perfect, we will fail, we will get it wrong but those are the times when we can build a stronger relationship with those around us by allowing them to see us as we are and accept us.
If we are distanced and cut off others spot that. They can see when we do not reveal our true selves, when we hold back. This holding back builds into massive walls and barriers all too easily which then stop the free flow of communication and understanding, the keys to successful teams. When you look at great teams they have a common understanding and purpose but the also have great communication. That communication has to be based on Trust and trust only comes with being vulnerable.
Brene has written a great book about all of this called Daring Greatly – in it she looks at how to combat the natural tendencies we all have to protect ourselves from vulnerable situations and conversations as well as providing practical ways to be more vulnerable.
Change in this area is difficult and needs to be taken slowly. Just bearing all in a team meeting and hoping your team think better of you is not going to help, trust us we have seen it done and fail. So find small steps to show and share your vulnerability and look to support and encourage those who share theirs.
We started by each sharing our guilty secret favourite TV show – that was a fascinating lunchtime.
See the Brene Brown TED Talk here https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o